


Swapped

by kitkatt0430



Series: Hartmon Bingo 2020 [18]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Everything Hurts, Gender Dysphoria, Genderswap, Hartley Rathaway is Not Okay, M/M, Menstruation, Meta with the ability to change someone's sex, Sort Of, anyway..., but it fits the genderswap genre, okay so not really a genderswap, sorry - Freeform, sort of a genderswap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-07 08:26:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26350075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kitkatt0430/pseuds/kitkatt0430
Summary: Hartley wakes up slowly, acutely aware of the weight on his chest that doesn't belong.
Relationships: Cisco Ramon/Hartley Rathaway
Series: Hartmon Bingo 2020 [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1656343
Comments: 8
Kudos: 23
Collections: Hartmon Bingo





	Swapped

**Author's Note:**

> For the Hartmon Bingo prompt I2 - Genderswap
> 
> In which Hartley's gender doesn't change, but his body's physical sex does... and the concept of genderswap is kind of interrogated as a result.

He feels like something is pressing down on his chest. It's not a painful pressure, but it's an unfamiliar one. Whatever it is, it's not restricting his breathing, so Hartley lets himself just lay there, beneath that weight, trying to remember what happened.

There was a meta. There's always a meta these days. Hartley's not really sure how this became his life.

(Well, he does know. Self imposed penance for not stopping Wells and for the plans that, in retrospect, Hartley's so grateful fell apart.)

This time, Hartley hadn't been in costume as the Pied Piper. He'd been at a jewelry store, intending to pick out engagement rings so that he could finally propose to Cisco. Preferably before Cisco proposed to him... actually, no, if Hartley's being honest he wants them both to propose at the same time. It'd be a fun story to tell and so very them.

She'd been there to rob the store. The meta, that is. She'd put a gun in the store manager's face and Hartley had managed to get out of sight, to scuttle around to hit the emergency app on his phone where no one could see him. Except he'd been less subtle than he'd hoped because no sooner did the app confirm the alert was there a hand on the back of his shirt. The thief had shouted something at Hartley, but he couldn't remember what it was. She'd pointed her gun at him and then reached out to touch his face.

The last thing he remembered was collapsing in pain. Pain in his chest and hips, most notably. There was no weight on his hips now, though. Just his chest.

Hartley wasn't wearing his glasses, as the familiar feeling of the tortoiseshell frames was missing from his nose and ears. And he was laying stretched out on what felt like one of Caitlin's infirmary cots at STAR Labs. Though it could easily be an actual hospital. Either way, the weight on his chest was... discomfiting.

Slowly, Hartley opens his eyes and confirms the familiar, blurry visage of Caitlin's office's ceiling. STAR Labs, then.

"Hart?" Cisco came into view, holding what looked like Hartley's glasses in one hand. "You're awake," he breathed out in relief, a fuzzy looking smile on what Hartley could see of his face. "Look... there's something..." Cisco toyed with Hartley's glasses nervously. "There's something you need to know before you sit up, okay?"

"Okay," Hartley said, voice raspy and... the pitch was wrong. He knew what his voice sounded like. It never sounded like... that. Too high. Too... feminine. "Cisco what's going on?" And now he sounded panicked too.

Cisco gave him the glasses. "You were at a jewelry store that was attacked by a meta. Do you remember that?"

"Yeah." Hartley was suddenly afraid of what he'd see when he put on the glasses. "She did something to me, didn't she?"

"To you and a few others, yes," Cisco said, tone too carefully calm. "She, uh... she has the ability to alter another person's body. And she altered yours."

Hartley slipped on his glasses and sat up, Cisco hurrying to support him as he swayed dizzily. He looked down at his chest. He was still wearing the clothing he'd put on that morning. Green flannel over a black t-shirt. But the fabric didn't fit right anymore, stretching over his chest in a way that made the two lumps on his chest all too apparent.

He started to panic, breathing too hard. That only made the sight worse, his chest starting to heave and making the... breasts rise and fall. Hartley felt even dizzier, sick at the sight because that wasn't... those weren't his, they didn't belong there, he wanted them off now, now, now...

Cisco's hands gently tucked around Hartley's face and drew his gaze away from the sight of his own body. But that just made him more aware of how his body felt. The weird weight on his chest from what were probably barely b-cup breasts was uncomfortable enough. But now he was having a growing awareness of what wasn't between his legs and he just...

It was too much. Hartley began to cry.

* * *

There were a lot of parts about this situation that could be considered 'the worst part'. But certainly up there on the list was that with a power like this the meta didn't even need to be a thief. She could be out there selling her abilities to give instant sex changes - no invasive surgeries needed - to the trans community, people who desperately needed their anatomy to change for their own peace of mind. She could be using her powers to help people and make good money off it. Possibly even better money than robbing a jewelry store would net her. And even if the swap was temporary - Cisco hoped, for Hartley's sake, it was temporary - her powers could still save lives and help people figure out how much - or how little - surgery they might need to affirm their own gender.

Hartley's glasses didn't fit his face anymore. It was a subtle thing. The bridge was too wide and the nose piece slid down too far. The stems of the glasses were set slightly too wide, meaning they had to bend back slightly in order to hook around his ears. If Cisco hadn't spent so much time studying his lover's face, he might not have noticed the changes. But they were there. Hartley's whole face was slightly narrower. His cheeks more prominent. And the tears he was crying made his whole face turn a blotchy red.

There was really no good way to tell someone they'd been given a very unwanted sex-change by a meta. 

Cisco carefully pulled his boyfriend close and held him as he shook and cried and tried not to think about how different it felt. Because if it felt different for him, having Hartley's formerly flat chest pressing against Cisco's stomach then how weird must it before Hartley to feel his new... breasts getting a little squashed. There was literally nothing Hartley could do to avoid the changed sensations of his body. And it was quite likely that Cisco's attempt to help was only making things worse.

Gently, Cisco pulled away. "Hart..."

"I'm a..." Hartley trails off, looking a little green around the gills. "I'm gonna be sick," he says, confirming Cisco's suspicions. 

There's just enough time to get a basin into Hartley's hands before Cisco has to watch, helplessly, as his boyfriend pukes into it.

"Do you need me to get Caitlin?" Cisco asked quietly.

Hartley shook his head. Puked some more.

Cisco considered texting Caitlin to get in there anyway.

Hartley's stomach settled, however, and he set the basin aside. He wiped at his mouth with some kleenex Cisco produced for him, his hands as long as Cisco remembered, but the fingers were narrower. 

"Is this permanent?" Hartley finally asked.

"We don't know," Cisco replied. "I'm sorry, Hart. We just don't know."

* * *

It's just Hartley's fucked up luck that he goes to the bathroom for the first time since waking up only to find a smudge of red in his underwear. Underwear very unsuited for menstrual pads. Because that wasn't supposed to be something he ever had to worry about.

Hartley's stomach clenches up and he worries, for a moment, that he'll throw up again. The feeling passes, though. Could be stress related from this fucking nightmare. Could be menstrual cramps because now those are a thing he has to be aware of.

Fuck, fuck, fuck...

It takes all Hartley's mental fortitude not just sit there on the toilet with his pants and underwear around his ankles. He wads up a bunch of toilet paper, stands up so he can press it between his legs where there's anatomy he's entirely unfamiliar with, and puts his clothing back in place. Then he flushes the toilet- it's full of red and it's all Hartley can do to remember not to panic more than he already is because that much blood is probably normal for a period - tries not to laugh or cry hysterically, and then texts Caitlin with a request for pads. Whatever she has on hand in the STAR Labs women's restroom or kept as an emergency pad in her purse will do just fine.

He's going to have to ask Cisco to go grocery shopping for him because... Hartley can't go out in public looking like this. He can't.

Then, finally, Hartley steps out of the stall and just... stares. There's a giant mirror across from him, stretching along the wall behind the sinks. The face looking back at him isn't his.

The person he sees looks a little like Jerrie might, ten years from now. It's a distinctly feminine looking face. At least his hair is unchanged, but when paired with his altered facial features...

He looks like a butch lesbian. There's really no getting around it. He looks like a butch lesbian, not a gay man. He looks like someone else entirely. 

His phone chimes with a response from Caitlin. She has some spare pads and she'll be right over.

'No tampons' he texts back, just to be clear. The idea of having to actually touch that part of himself beyond wiping away urine and blood? To actually insert a tampon into..

He'd have a panic attack again. 

"Hart?" Cisco poked his head into the bathroom. "Everything... alright?" He hesitates over the word, knowing it's the wrong one. But Hartley doesn't know what Cisco could have said that would've been right.

Determinedly not looking at the mirror, Hartley went to wash his hands. There were flecks and smears of blood on them where he'd fumbled trying to clean up down there. It made him nauseous all over again, but he didn't feel the need to flee back into the stall just yet. He started washing his hands.

"Apparently this body came with a period. Caitlin's on her way with some stuff to help." It helped to talk about the changes to his body like... he'd been dropped wholesale out of his body into some foreign receptacle. Made it less real.

He kind of needed the disassociation right now, though it probably wouldn't be healthy to keep up with in the long run.

"Anything I can do to help?" 

"I... I'm gonna need new underwear. And... and a binder. Can you, um... can you research those for me? I don't think I..." Hartley felt panicky again, looking up and catching his reflection and...

Cisco walked over and turned Hartley around, away from the mirror. He shut off the sink and grabbed some paper towels to dry Hartley's hands with. "Sure. Comfy period underwear and binders. I can totally figure that stuff out for you, okay?"

Hartley shook his head so that he didn't have to hear the sound of his voice. (Wrong, wrong, wrong, all wrong.) He buries himself in Cisco's arms, ignoring how off everything still feels. "Can I wake up now?" he asked, feeling small and hating it.

"Oh, Hart," Cisco sounds heartbroken and he holds Hartley all the more tightly. "Oh, Hart."

* * *

Barry eventually shows up with news about the meta who assaulted Hartley. Cisco leaves Hartley in the infirmary with Caitlin, clearly not okay but steady enough to discuss menstrual hygiene and sanitary pads. Hartley brought up birth control and while he clearly knew that it wasn't going to make this period go away, he was also clearly planning for the possibility of being stuck like this - stuck in his altered body - for months.

The fewer periods he had to deal with, the better his mental health.

Cisco doubted this was a conversation Hartley wanted Barry, or anyone else, overhearing, so Cisco met Barry in the Lobby for the Flash Museum. Its only open on the weekends and for specially arranged school trips during the week, so there's no one around to overhear Barry and Cisco discuss meta-related business. And it was more comfortable than the break rooms... and if it happened to also be out of Hartley's hearing range?

For the best. Cisco didn't want Hartley having a panic attack from over hearing something when Cisco isn't right there to... 

God... what can Cisco even do in a situation like this? He's felt helpless before and it's always a little worse each time. 

"She's calling herself the Swapper. Because she can genderswap people," Barry said, tone dry.

"That's a terrible name. And inaccurate," Cisco can just hear the anger in his voice and it's all he can do to focus it on that fucking stupid name instead of taking it out on Barry. "She didn't swap Hartley's gender. He's still a guy. At least his brain hasn't been violated even though his body sure as hell has been."

It's the first time Cisco's said that out loud. That his boyfriend's body hasn't just been changed, it's been violated. Altered without consent.

"Hey, Cisco..." Barry offered him a box of kleenex and Cisco realized he was crying.

He snapped up several tissues and patted his face dry, collapsing onto one of the lobby's comfy chairs. "Do you know if she can undo what she did?" He didn't ask if she was willing to undo it. That'd probably be another fight and a half.

"I don't know. She's... only done this to men so far. And..." Barry hesitated. "I get the impression that she wouldn't reverse the changes even if she could."

He didn't elaborate and Cisco thought that was probably for the best.

"How's Hartley?"

"He's... he was in shock at first and now he's discussing medical stuff with Caitlin and he'll probably be in and out of anxiety and panic attacks for... a long time. He's dysphoric and we don't know if this is permanent or not and..." Cisco scrubbed his hands over his face. "I honestly don't know. He's taking it well considering there's no good way to react to having your body reconfigured without permission."

Then, quietly, Cisco added, "I don't know how to help him... to make this easier on him. I don't know what to do. I want to just... build something to make it all better, but that's not going to work this time... is it?"

Barry sat down beside Cisco and pulled him into a silent hug.

* * *

Cisco takes Hartley home. And while Hartley sleeps, Cisco researches. He finds period underwear intended for trans men and afab enbies and bookmarks those sites to run by Hartley later. They've got some pads from Caitlin and she figured out how to adhere them to Hartley's current underwear, but it's... temporary at best. Boxers for men weren't designed for pads. Or, rather, pads weren't designed to fit comfortably in boxers.

Next Cisco starts hunting for binders, and he finds a number of sites with good reviews and a different array of binders. He also looks up safety tips for binding properly and how long a person can safely bind before the binder has to come off and the health hazards of binding incorrectly or for too long.

The potential lung damage is horrific. Cisco can't linger on it for too long before his brain starts putting it together with Hartley's allergy and heat induced asthma issues and just...

He has to go into their bedroom at that point and crawl into bed with Hartley. Everything's a little bit better in the dark room. Hartley still fits in Cisco's arms just right, still smells like Hartley and home.

* * *

In the morning, Hartley lets Cisco walk him through the websites he found the night before. Hartley picks out underwear and binders.

He tries not to think about the possibility of getting breast reduction surgery. But... Caitlin had brought it up the day before. Something he'll have to consider if the... the weeks go by and he's still... stuck like this. Hartley's hoping it won't come to that, but...

Gender affirming surgeries are now something he has to consider for the mental health benefits. And while Caitlin couldn't force Hartley to go to therapy, she could emotionally blackmail him into it. 

_Do it for Cisco,_ she'd said. _Do it so that you don't take all your anger and frustration out on him when all he wants is to love and support you._

It's a fair observation. Hartley's not sure he can bring himself to step foot outside of the apartment in order to go to therapy, but... if he tells himself he's doing it for Cisco's sake then he might be able to manage it.

"Okay... so what did you find out on healthy binding habits?" Hartley made himself ask. "Caitlin didn't really know much about that."

"Um... I found a bunch of blogs that discuss it," Cisco said, awkwardly hopefully. He slipped his free hand into Hartley's and squeezed lightly.

Hartley squeezed back. He'd learn to live with this, if it was permanent. Somehow. He'd learn to live with it for Cisco's sake. And maybe, one day, he'd be able to live with it for his own sake too.


End file.
